Looking “like a mom” should never be an insult.
At this moment in time, I have a 22-month old and a 3-week old. And like any moment during my existence on this earth, I am not a morning person.
Yesterday I had the stark realization that in order to get out of the house at all on a given day, I needed to drag my butt out of bed before Clara (my toddler) wakes up and get myself dressed and put together. Otherwise, the cycle of dressing, feeding, and changing all three of us just takes too long and we never leave the house. I do not wear cabin fever well.
Last night Marshall (my infant) woke three times. One of those times, he was hellbent on throwing a party in the nursery. Very little sleep was happening for any of us. I was so exhausted that I feel in bed in yesterday’s clothes.
And this morning when the alarm rang alerting me that it was time to get dressed and put together, I ignored it. I of course was already dressed. I wore yesterday’s clothes to drop off Clara at school this morning. Guess what? She got there just fine, lovingly dropped off with her lunch and her nap-time lovie ready to learn and grow. What I look like doesn’t really matter, does it? Not today anyway.
Some days, this is what a mom looks like. This is also what any exhausted survivor looks like whether that person be cramming for exams, writing on a deadline, taking care of a sick relative, creating a proposal for work, etc.
Some days, this mom looks like a fierce business woman ready to innovate, take risks or close a deal. On other days, this mom is ready to hit the town with girlfriends or my husband. And yet when I’m gussied up for those occasions, no one compliments me by saying “You are really rocking that mom look today, Julia!”
As my friend Sonya Benham points out in her awesome piece on ABCNews, sometimes moms do sport sweatpants and no makeup. Ok maybe oftentimes. But that’s no reason to designate “looking like a mom” as an insult which is all-too-often what we do. One mom even says this to another, as if this is in any way ok!
Let’s stop using this lazy, inaccurate, insulting simile and focus on building each other up rather than putting mom-hood down. Being a mom/woman/human is a beautiful thing after all.